Asalamualaikum.
hey hey ho. Lama kan tak berbeloggahh. S0, regret? I dunno. It just came to me. How
Because tonight i realised how a man would do everything for the one he loves the most. How cruel a mom could be. How peculiar when your siblings were the one who brings you warmth and how i could actually act normal between them.
I almost cry when i saw you running in the dark. Searching for me. And how you stopped and stunned to actually be in front of me. It was dark. But i knew it was you. By looking at the way you walk. And when you were right in front of me. The word came to me. REGRET. Because you weren't mine anymore.
'I wanna go home'. Bang! You shot me straight to my heart. Home? You can't be serious. Then you walked away. Or maybe I ran away. I dunno.
I kept thinking about you the whole night. Because i regret that i told you and that u came. And because it was not the right time.
But i couldn't tell you how happy i am to see you soaking in the rain and the fact you were actually driving in the rainstorm just to see me. Buying a ticket for rm38 for a 10 minutes walk - with me. Its not worth it isn't it?
Decisions. Semua keputusan yang kita buat ada kebaikan dan keburukan yang tersendiri. Depends pada sebab sesuatu keputusan itu dibuat. For our own's sake or for the others. Sometimes berpisah lebih baik daripada bersama tapi hati terseksa. Sometimes its better to be on our own bile kite tak yakin nak hadapi dunia nii berdua. Tapi sometimes.. lebih baik cari balik cinta hati kita kalau tak tahan seksa perpisahan. Sebab hanya dengan perpisahan, kita sedar kita boleh atau tidak untuk hidup tanpa dia.
Tapi untuk diterima balik itu susah. Sebab peluang kedua emang senang nak dapat. Tapi not for the third, fourth and so on. Bile tak diterima, maybe both of you needed space. Spaces for your own time. Your friends, your family.
The needs to be together should came after that word - regret. Would i regret being with him? Would i regret rejecting him? Would i regret everything I'd turn out to be? Hmmm.
Dan sekarang aku sememangnya nak bersendirian. Sebab bile kita dah over. Aku sedar yg semua yang aku sayang will eventually leaves me. Maybe aku tak layak disayangi. Maybe aku tak layak menyayangi. Maybe jugak aku hanya mampu menyayangi tapi tak mampu memiliki. Maybe jugak aku yang tak patut dimiliki sesiapa.
Entahlahh. Yang pasti, aku nak fokus study dulu. Macam janji kau dulu. Nak bagi aku belajar. So, i will.
Last words. I still love you. Thats a fact. But a million apologies won't bring me back. I need my own time.
Asalamualaikum.
